Need To Recover From A Faux Pas Gracefully

A Faux Pas can come in different forms. Some are humorous like the hotel that unwittingly offered, “Free: one night stand, when you book any room for a night!” or the ads for a telephone help line that read, “Don’t let worries kill you, let us help.”

But other Faux Pas, often the ones you and I commit to ourselves, are anything but funny. Perhaps you can identify with some of these:

• Missing an appointment with a client
• Sending someone the wrong product
• Showing up late for an important meeting
• Calling someone by the wrong name
• Sending out an email with typos in it
• Confidently stating something publicly, only to discover later you were wrong
• Drawing a complete blank when meeting some who insists they know you
• Failing to make a payment on time to an affiliate or contractor
• Finding out that you’ve offended someone

And some times even much more serious Faux Pas occur with significant consequences. For instance, in the Clinton – Lewinsky scandal in the 90s, then President Bill Clinton committed a huge moral Faux Pas in his intimate encounters with Monica Lewinsky. If those weren’t bad enough, what really upset the public were his blatant lies and twisting of the truth under oath. The more he lied, the greater the scandal became. Consequently, he lost all respect, integrity, and trust with this nation, resulting in his impeachment. While this is an extreme example of a Faux Pas, there’s a Take Away for all of us. Committing a Faux Pas and responding poorly can have catastrophic consequences.

Take Away

Faux Pas occur for many reasons, but here are some of the common problems or oversights that lead to blunders:

• Cutting corners
• Rushing
• Inattention to detail
• Preoccupation with other things
• Stress
• Dishonesty
• Lack of a moral compass or failure to follow it
• Failure to put safeguards in place
• Failure to adhere to establish safeguards
• Having too much on one’s plate
• Poor oversight or management of others
• Insufficient training
• Partnerships with those who don’t share your values
• Murphy’s Law

As you read through that list of causes, notice that all are avoidable but the last one. But with diligence, honesty, integrity, attention to details, demonstrating genuine care of others, having good systems and processes in place and following them we can usually avoid most Faux Pas. Obviously, we want to do all we can to avoid mistakes and Faux Pas from occurring in the first place. But whether we’ve taken the proper precautions or not, what do we do when a Faux Pas occurs?

5 Steps for Recovering from a Faux Pas Gracefully

1. Assess the damage

Determine the extent of the damage. How many people does it affect? How serious is the damage? What will be its impact on your business? How will it influence the way people see you? Seek the counsel of others on this matter, so you don’t underestimate the potential damage.

2. Own up to it

Often, your immediate response to an exposed Faux Pas is to defend yourself, make excuses, or blame someone else. These responses come naturally, especially if the Faux Pas was unintentional. But none of those responses will help you recover. Instead, own the mistake. Take full responsibility for it, even if it was committed by someone else in your organisation. Owning up to it demonstrates integrity and honesty. You may even earn a higher level of respect and trust by doing so. Admitting fault also helps you and your constituents move on from there.

3. Make it right

This may be as simple as offering a sincere apology. But other times, you may need to offer a refund, or something for free as an expression of goodwill. If in doubt, ask the person or persons. “What can we do to make this right for you?

4. Look for the hidden gem

Quite often, if you make a mistake but seek to make amends graciously, you’ll find an unexpected blessing. Your gracious response to a Faux Pas can demonstrate to others the depth of your commitment to them, the soundness of your integrity, or the extent of your care and concern. Look for that hidden jewel and capitalise on it.

5. Put safeguards in place

If you are unsure of how the Faux Pas occurred, research it and discover what went wrong. Then, put systems and processes in place to prevent its recurrence.

Mistakes and Faux Pas happen to the best of us. To the extent possible, we want to avoid them. But when they do occur, seek to make them right and do so with all integrity. In this way you can recover from a Faux Pas gracefully and both you and your tribe will be glad you did.

In my next Blog you will read more about my life as alien in Japan and how I can help you in your personal and business life.

Leave me a comment about your biggest Faux Pas and how you recovered from it, or what your thoughts are on this topic.